Let’s talk bridal shower invitations. I wanted to make them by hand, but I didn’t know how difficult/expensive/crazy it might be. I’m here to tell you, it was neither difficult, nor expensive. In fact, in most cases, it’s cheaper than buying online or at the store. Of course, it’s more effort, but needless to say it looks WAY WAY WAY better.

This was the original handmade invitation, which I sent to the bride:

This was the reproduction, which went out to the shower attendees:

Here’s the way I did it:

I looked up established envelope sizes, and chose the size I thought would be most appropriate (I chose A2, about 5.5″ x 4.25″). I knew we were going to have a Sunday brunch/summer hat theme, so I Googled some source material, and got the text of the invitation perfect on scrap paper.

It was surprisingly easy to create the design, especially because there is such a limited amount of space and so much information to put in it. I did a draft in pencil, inked it with Micron pens, and used watered-down acrylic paint for color.

Even if you’re not an artist, my advice is just to go for it. Embrace the imperfections in your handwriting and your layout. It may not be perfect, but that’s what makes it special!

The printing was a cinch. I took the original invitation plus the insert I made for the registry information to The Source, a print and copy center in the East Village (they printed my Haggadahs a couple years ago, and I had a great experience with them– if you’re in New York, you should know they are AWESOME). Printing was easy, as there was actually no printing involved. No scanning either. We simply made color copies on card stock. We were able to set it up so that we could print four invitations to a 8.5″ x 11″ page (another benefit to using the A2 size) and nine inserts to a page, which cut down on the price. All in all, I thought the color copies looked pretty good, and with only minor adjustments: we darkened it a bit on the copier’s settings, so that the invites wouldn’t look washed out.

Here’s perhaps the only hard part: I had to do the cutting manually. Most printers will charge you per cut, and they won’t get it exact. Luckily, most FedEx Office locations keep their paper cutter out front. I’m not going to lie, it was a bit of a pain cutting each invite, but with a good paper-cutter it’s entirely doable. I had 30 invites and inserts to cut, and it probably only took me 20 minutes.

Final bill for 30 invites? Envelopes –  approx $14; Printing – approx $18; Postage – approx $13.50. Total = $45.50. More importantly, the bride loves them!

Congratulations! You’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with! The hard part is over. At least it should be!

Whether you’re planning a Jewish, interfaith and/or gay wedding, finding a wedding rabbi is an important decision. Nowadays so much of the wedding planning process focuses on the reception – the music, food, flowers, wedding cake, and so on. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Celebrating has always been important in the Jewish culture. But the wedding ceremony should be the most meaningful part of the day. So take the time to find a rabbi that will perform a ceremony that fits your style as a couple, and will bring to life your relationship and love for each other.

If you belong to a temple or went to a synagogue-affiliated Hebrew school as a child, you may have a rabbi in mind who can perform your ceremony. We still urge you to go through the following steps to ensure he or she is a perfect fit.

Photo by Cantor Kerry Ben-David

Step 1: Picture Your Ideal Wedding Ceremony

Discuss your wedding ceremony with your fiancé. Not the budget. Not the guest list. Focus on the ceremony. Try to visualize yourselves walking down the aisle surrounded by your loved ones and making one of life’s greatest commitments to each other. Is the ceremony lighthearted or serious? Traditional or highly personalized?

Factors to Consider when Choosing a Rabbi:

Denomination – Are you and/or your families Reform, Conservative Traditional, Conservative Egalitarian, Modern Orthodox, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, another denomination, or unaffiliated.

Style – Do you want a humorous rabbi, or do you prefer more serious wedding ceremonies? Do you want a rabbi that will provide explanations for your guests to understand all of the traditions and customs that you will be preforming?

Personalization – Jewish weddings involve many rituals, many of which can be modified or personalized to represent a couple’s beliefs.  From signing the ketubah to breaking the glass under the chuppah, it’s important to find a rabbi that will work with you to make the rituals personal, should you be interested in doing so.

Premarital Counseling – Most rabbis will meet with the couple a number of times before the wedding. This helps to establish a relationship and make the ceremony more personal. But some rabbis will also go beyond the ceremony and discuss the marriage. These rabbis provide a form of premarital counseling: a platform in which you can discuss life goals and potential challenges with your fiancé that you may have never discussed before (children, money, moving, illness, etc). Find out the number of times your rabbi plans to meet with you, what you will be discussing, and if he or she provides tools or resources that will help strengthen your marriage.

Step 2: Research Rabbis

Mazelmoments.com makes it easy and fun to find the perfect rabbi, cantor, wedding officiant and other Jewish clergy (including those willing to perform interfaith ceremonies). You can read about their background and training, and read reviews from other brides or families. Finding a rabbi to perform an interfaith or same sex wedding ceremony is just the click of a button.  If the rabbi is a congregational rabbi, we urge you to attend Shabbat services at their synagogue to get a sense of how they lead the services. That’s one of the best ways to know if you jive with a rabbi’s style.

For more help planning your Jewish event, visit mazelmoments.com.

The Entertainment: They may be in the background, but they can make or break a party!

Unlike non-Jewish weddings, a Jewish wedding reception is considered part of the wedding itself. There’s actually a commandment that you should celebrate and have fun after a wedding!

A traditional, religious Jewish wedding starts before the ceremony with a Tish. During the Tish the groom attempts to teach a bible passage, while his friends drink and try to distract him. Many modern couples are turning the Tish in to a co-ed event. This is a great time to bring in some entertainment. Clowns, magicians, or singers can all add a festive and modern feel to this tradition.

The Tish is followed by the unveiling of the bride (Beddekin) and the signing of the Ketubah. It’s perfectly appropriate to have a harp or other soft music in the background during this smaller, more intimate ceremony.

If you’re not having a Tish, you can still make the most of your entertainment options. Most Jewish weddings happen on a Sunday, which may open up a variety of options financially since performers will be more likely to agree to shorter performance times or even special deals on a day when they aren’t likely to get other bookings.

This can be a real boon to interfaith couples, as it leaves extra money for a special dance or musical performance that honors one of the partners’ cultures, in addition to their band or DJ. Jewish families are often full family affairs and hiring a magician or clown to entertain the children is a great way to keep the day civilized.

When it comes to hiring a band or DJ, most bands and DJs are familiar with the Hora. If you simply wish to nod to Jewish tradition adding this dance to your normal playlist will be fun and exciting for all guests. But, if you’re having a completely Jewish wedding we recommend asking the DJ or bandleader about his or experience with Jewish weddings. The rhythm of a Jewish wedding reception is slightly different than that of a Christian wedding and having some experience is helpful. If you fall in love with a band that hasn’t worked a Jewish wedding before, consider a wedding planner or day-of coordinator with Jewish wedding experience.

No matter how much experience your planner or band has, make sure that both you and your vendors are clear about any rules of modesty or kashrut that you, your rabbi, synagogue, venue, or family have. There are many levels of observance and what seems obvious to one person may be a new concept to someone else.

Looking for more wedding advice? Check out GigMasters’s Wedding Blog.

Chairs by Giliah Litwack, Ketuv’s premiere same-sex ketubah

Have you seen our blog post on Mazel Moments? If not, we just wanted to let you know: Ketuv is serious about marriage equality. From our post:

“From now on, every time another state passes marriage equality, Ketuv will offer 5% off on all of our ketubot for a whole week. All you have to do is type in Equality and the two-letter state abbreviation of the state that just passed the bill. For example, in the week after our home state of New York passed marriage equality, you would have entered EqualityNY, and we would have given you 5% off of your fabulous new ketubah. Can’t wait to celebrate with you!”

Take a look at our post on Mazel Moments (and check out the rest of the site, too– totally awesome and comprehensive for Jewish lifecycle events!) for more of how Ketuv can help same-sex coulpes find the ketubah that is right for them. Remember that Ketuv fills in your ketubah text for free, which means we will work with you directly to make sure your text represents you the way you want to be represented.

I made you this. An illustrated handmade Haggadah for 2012 which explores themes of social justice: oppression and liberation, resistance and hope. This Haggadah is decidedly Jewish, but is entirely appropriate for an interfaith seder. This Haggadah borrows, steals and plagiarizes from many other Haggadot, and is also made from original material, ranging from the traditional to the super-lefty-touchy-feely (possible keywords: feminist seder, environmentalist seder, vegetarian seder, etc.). It also features my illustrated 12 steps, a selection of which you can view below. Click below to download the PDF.
Arielle

HERE: haggadah2012

Yachatz: Breaking the Middle Matzah

Maggid: Telling the Passover Story

Korech: Eating the Matzah and Maror Together

Happy Passover everyone!

Custom Map ketubah by Rachelle Tolwin

We know that commissioning a custom ketubah can be intimidating. That’s why we recently shared our tips with Jewish wedding experts, The Wedding Yentas. We had so much info on the topic that the post comes in two parts, Part I and Part II.

If you’re considering a custom work, definitely follow the links to the post as a whole, but either way, here are some excerpts that will give you a sense of the process.

Figure out what your ketubah is about: Talk to your partner about what aspects of your relationship you would like your ketubah to highlight. They should be the things that you feel are truly special about your relationship. You may want to think about the stories that are important to you as a couple: how you met, the moment you “knew,” a trip you took together. Your ketubah can depict, say, the park bench where he proposed, or a map of all the New York City apartments you both lived in before you met one another.

Start thinking about color: This could be as basic as wanting the ketubah to echo your wedding colors, or the colors of your home, or it could be more symbolic.

Figure out what you like: There is no special formula to finding the right artist, and you don’t have to know about art to have an experience with it. Look around. When you like something, listen to yourself. Collect images of the artwork you and your partner like, and look at all the images together to see if there is a pattern emerging.

Communicate: Let your artist in on the details of the conversation you had with your partner, and share your little folder of inspiration images, taking him/her through your vision for your ketubah. In one case, a couple even sent me a crude version of what they wanted, which they sketched out themselves in crayon!

The client’s sketch to the artist’s rendering

As we told The Wedding Yentas, this may sound like a lot of work, but we believe that you and your partner can figure out the basics of what you’re interested in over the span of a dedicated afternoon. It might also be fun, an opportunity to literally “visualize” your relationship. Don’t forget that your artist will also bring something to the table. You don’t have to have everything figured out in order to start the conversation!

Again, for the full post, including more information about ketubah text on a custom work, as well as the details of the agreement between artist and client, please visit The Wedding Yentas, and Ketuv’s posts, Part I and Part II!

The Prenups are a wedding band guaranteed to deliver “barely controlled pandemonium” on the dance floor. Hand-picked by New York Magazine as one of the best wedding acts in the Northeast, these “indie heartthrobs” approach the event like a no-holds-barred rock concert.

At Ketuv, we’ve got a theory that, when it comes to weddings, “artists do it better.” We’ve already profiled StereoWaltz Films, the cinematic wedding video project of filmmaker Andrew Bowser, and of course, you know how we feel about chuppahs and ketubahs. On that note, meet The Prenups, a New York-based band whose various members are responsible for a good deal of awesome music, through a host of diverse solo and band projects, and who nonetheless find time to get together and rock the nuptials. We recently talked to frontman Matthew Rudnicki about how they got into the world of weddings, what they love to play, and where good weddings can go awry.

Ketuv: How did you get into the wedding band business?

Matthew Rudnicki: I had a band I played with, Meowskers, and we were super close with a band from Boston, The Slip. The bassist in The Slip came down to New York and we wanted to throw a cover band together for a friend’s wedding. It went really well, we had a ton of fun, and we started getting referalls based on that one wedding gig. After a few house parties and a New Year’s Eve show at Pete’s Candy Store, we had some buzz and started getting regular offers to play.

K: What’s your approach, and how does it differ with others wedding bands out there?

MR: We approach every gig like a concert event. That’s the main difference. We have a gritty selection of 80s hits, modern classics, and music people generally love to dance to, but we play them like a rock band who owns the tunes. It’s the opposite approach many glossy, slick 12-piece bands take.

K: Who’s on your repertoire? Do you choose the music you play, or do the couples?

MR: We choose the music, but we’ll always take a few suggestions, and we’ll always cater our set to a client’s needs. We love to play Whitesnake, Toto, Modest Mouse, CCR, Bruce Springsteen, Huey Lewis, Van Morrison, Blur, just to name a few.

K: What’s your favorite song to play at a wedding? Is there a least favorite, something the couples ask for, but that you’re not big fans of as a band?

MR: If we don’t like the song, we don’t play it. That’s one benefit of being in a band that doesn’t need to take every gig. But we usually end up playing for people who have the same taste in music we do, otherwise they wouldn’t have heard of us. One song I love to play is “Where The Streets Have No Name” by U2. It’s an epic one, and we give it hell. We just don’t get to play it that often.

K: Having seen a lot of weddings, in your opinion, what makes a good wedding?

MR: The best weddings are the ones that are relaxed. I’ve seen a ton, and when there is a strict schedule and people are stressing out to hit every point on some itinerary, that’s when the wedding starts to suffer. When people are relaxed, and savor the moment and allow people to unwind and truly celebrate, that’s when special things start to happen. Every wedding is pretty great, but we’ve seen some amazing ones. We do everything we can to help a reception get to a holier place, especially on the dance floor.

K: At Ketuv, our motto is that when it comes to weddings, “artists do it better.” What’s your non-wedding work like, and where can we find it?

MR: Our bassist Mike Cheever has an amazing band called Avan Lava, and is a DJ as well under the name Narcisse. He’s also a great producer under the name Le Chev. Our guitarist has a studio in Greenpoint called Spacebar Studios and has done a ton of work with LCD Soundsystem and a bunch of the DFA bands. Our drummer Mike Riddleberger plays in a ton of bands, notably Ravens & Chimes, The Defibulators and Krystle Warren & The Faculty.

The Prenups can be reached at theprenupsmusic@gmail.com.

Elli’s inspiration for these ketubot is “windswept”– the idea of the wind blowing through a specific scene and rearranging it– in this case, a garden and a field. We think it has a wonderfully graphic and even deco-ish feel.

Bird in the Garden

In the Fields

We are so consistently impressed with Elli and how many different kinds of projects she is involved in, so we recently asked her how she finds gigs and projects and manages her time, and how she developed her own signature style.

Ketuv: What are you working on right now?

Elli Chortara: I am currently working on a series of robot-animal-like creatures, and I am also writing a story about each, a story that communicates messages that go beyond the story of the character to tap into something more satirical, ambiguous or hidden. This will develop into a book project and perhaps a compact theme for a solo exhibition. Visual storytelling is something that I would like to work more with. Imaginary creatures and characters fascinate me!

The Sleepwalker

That Report

Recently, I have been commissioned to illustrate poetry for an Ireland-based poetry magazine called The Shop: A Magazine of Poetry, which is something I find very exciting as a more conceptual part of my practice. The interpretation of words and feelings, moods or messages is something that has always been latent in my work.

I have also been pairing illustration and design by doing some poster and banner design for an arts festival and arts-based organization, Rowan Arts, in London.

K: You do everything from hat design to illustration for lit mags. How you find different projects/gigs?

EC: Sometimes, people I already know might commission me for private work. Sometimes, it will be people who have seen the work online. The important thing is to be able to build a network— to make sure that you build client relationships built in trust and mutual understanding. I maintain a blog as another way of keeping in touch with people and making sure people see the work.

I check out art sites like ArtsJobs in the UK and Re-Title to see if there are any magazines, exhibitions, online sites or zines that need illustrators, and that match my style, and I send them work samples and a link to my website. I am a member of several networks like Behance and the Association of Illustrators (AOI), which have valuable resources. I use social media tools like LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, and I often do rounds of emails to potential clients and promote my work on artist websites. Of course, if I get the job, and the work is published, that is also another promotional tool for the work itself.

New Era 90th Birthday Hat Design

K: How do you manage your time for all these projects?

EC: The main challenge is to keep myself organized as much as possible, which is not always easy. At the moment, I have a comprehensive schedule on my calendar and mobile phone combining many different work schedules. Keeping one foot on the ground can save time and make life easier.

The other side of things is about maintaining my inspiration levels, which is very much related to exploring new things. I want to make sure to stay active: listening to new music, having a constructive chat, exploring nature, noting down things, and being the person I want to be, despite the everyday challenges and the limited amount of time.

I must remember to pause and take a moment to reflect inwards, as it is often vital to the success of an otherwise hectic day. The important thing for me is to look at the time and to make time, to always look forward to what’s next on the horizon and to maintain a positive attitude.

Black and White illustration for a book of folktales

K: How did you develop your unique style?

EC: Developing a style takes time. It began, for me, during my MA course in Illustration at the Camberwell College of Arts (University of the Arts London). The research process there helped me decide which direction to take stylistically.

But that was only the beginning. You don’t usually leave art school with a ready portfolio or a commissioned project. It’s the work that I have done since then—the experimentations and risks I’ve taken—that have helped most in formulating my current style. It still is a long, joyful process and I don’t think it will ever really end. The work should consistently be pushed further and developed, based on new influences, research, exploration, feedback, and one’s own experience.

For more information on Elli Chortara, visit her artist page. You can also check out her new ketubot, Bird in the Garden, and In The Fields.

Will Deutsch, Ahava (Love)

Don’t you just love it? We do too, and we decided to talk to Will more about this ketubah, his relationship to Jewish art, what American Jewry looks like, and why artists make art.

Ketuv: Tell us about your Ketuv ketubah?

Will Deutsch: This work was inspired by classic ketubot from around the world. The imagery of a Hamsa is a symbol of both protection and blessing. The pair of fish originated on ketubot in India as a symbol of fertility and a reference to Genesis 1:22 ["Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas"]. In Israel, a ketubah most commonly incorporates traditional Jewish imagery like the Star of David, which I’ve used to tie the composition at the bottom. The geometric patterns I’ve used are of Turkish origin from the time of the Ottoman empire.  I’ve also incorporated fleurs and vine-like structures similar to the ones used in Persian and Italian ketubot.  But the impetus of this document remained the same regardless of culture: Ahava, love.

Balding

K: What inspires you to make art?

WD: I’ve been thinking a lot about why it is that I make art. In the beginning of the novel “High Fidelity” (also a major motion picture) the narrator asks, “Which came first, the misery or the music?” It is my belief that the misery comes first. This is not to say that all artists are miserable, but rather that the need to make work comes before the work itself.

In order to explain the next part of my theory, I need to call upon another quote: “Life is a comedy to those who live it, and a tragedy to those who think about it.”  In other words, if we were to think of life as a swimming pool, there are those on the shallower end, who look at things and don’t necessarily see their interconnections. They take things for exactly what they are and there is a peace to this, and swimming is easy. Then there are those on the deep end, who think about everything.  Each thought connects to another thought, swimming on the deep end requires more effort, and existence becomes a heavy and at times burdensome thing. It is my belief that most artists/creative people of any sort begin with this ‘misery’ or rather, a way of seeing the world in which there is far more than what is in front of them.

So the question becomes why do these individuals decide to create art?  And I believe the answer is: Permission. There is a permission in art to express thoughts that might not otherwise be appreciated. For example, if I were depressed all the time and prattled on about it all day, people would get sick of hearing it. My feelings would not seem legitimate or be appreciated.  But if I took these same feelings, and applied them to craft, and made a song, or a painting, or a performance, what once was trite now is profound and beautiful.  By morphing these thoughts into crafted, aesthetic pieces of work they can be accepted, and validated.  These thoughts, this work, life, essentially becomes meaningful. And thus creating is the only way to give an artist meaning.

K: Who or what influences you?

WD: In terms of aesthetics, I love Hebraic calligraphy, micrography, woodcuts and cartooning. As far as artists go I’d say Arthur Syzk, Al Hirschfeld, Dave Berg, Ken Garduno, Ralph Steadman, Koren Shadmi, Milt Gross, Humberto Ramos, Joe Madureira, Herbert Baglione and R. Crumb, to name a few.

I also like sourdough dutch pretzels, banter and Jeff Goldblum.

Jewish American Princess

K: How does living in Los Angeles connect with your artwork?

WD: I come from Orange County, which if you’re unfamiliar is a little shtetl about an hour south of Los Angeles where there are more strip malls than Jewish people [Ed note: that means there are a heck of a lot of both!].  Just living up here I feel completely awash in Jewish culture. When you make lots of illustrations about Jewish life, it is definitely influential in the images you choose to make.

Klezmer

K: Tell us about your vision for Judaica?

WD: I grew up in the Orthodox community, and later, when my mother joined the Cantorate, the Conservative Jewish community. Regardless of denomination, nearly every Jewish house I went to had the same three defining aesthetics: 1) Chagall prints 2) Abstract 80′s metal wall sculpture and 3) Pictures of frum [observant] Jews dancing and/or playing some sort of Klezmer instrument (these were usually in or around the bathroom).

In spite of its prevalence, none of this work spoke about the modern Jewish experience. In my family alone there is a Conservative Cantor, an observant Orthodox Jew, an atheist, and an agnostic; yet, all of us identify strongly as Jews. So I took it upon myself to make paintings that encapsulate the essence of what it is that ties us all together. The result is this ongoing collection of work I call “Notes from the Tribe.”  The work ranges from traditional images of Klezmer musicians to Hebrew National Hot Dogs and male pattern baldness.  I have no disdain for the aforementioned aesthetics. On the contrary I think they are defining part of our culture.  My hope is to make a body of work that in the same way defines the intangible way that it feels to be Jewish.

Hebrew National Hot Dogs

K: We’re excited about your series “Notes From the Tribe.” How is the project progressing? Where and when does it end?

WD: It’s going well. I’ve made right around 75 pieces so far. The work is meant to be looked at both individually and as a whole. While one person might tap into a certain image, it’s still meant to be seen as part of a larger body. I think this is analogous to the Jewish experience. We identify our own cultural experience in relation to others. I see my own experiences as part of a greater tapestry.  As far as when it ends, I’m right now planning on making 124 total images on parchment, the length of two torahs.

Chanukah Mobile

K: On that note, Mazel Tov on your amazing Six Points Fellowship! The Fellowship seeks to encourage American Jewish art. What does being an American Jew mean to you?

WD: Thank you so much! Well firstly, I’d say that my work is meant to function as a lens and not a pulpit. That is to say that the representations I create are not how I think all Jews should be or even how they are, but rather how I see it. I remember being asked in Hebrew school what it meant to be a Jew. Was it following Halakhah [Jewish law]?  Was it simply being born to a Jewish mother? Was it having a Bar or Bat Mitzvah? It seemed the only thing we could agree on was that would couldn’t agree upon a single definition.  The idea was nebulous.  This relates to the work I’m making today in that I can’t seem to ‘capture’ this concept. Rather, I can illustrate the things around this central idea that point to it.  For example, if I make a work about blowing the shofar I could say that blowing the shofar is Jewish, but the inverse is not true: blowing the shofar does not encapsulate all of what being Jewish means to every person. So the more work I make, the stronger this central concept of Jewish Identity becomes.  For some people it’s blowing a shofar, for some people it’s Matzo Ball soup, or summer camp or any number of things from feeling un-athletic to the first time they stood in front of the Western Wall.

The Deception of Isaac

K: Any words of wisdom for the artist who is applying for a grant, given your great success?

WD: Be honest with yourself about what you are interested in making and exploring if you are given the resources, but also be ambitious in your vision. The most amazing thing about the Fellowship has really been the dialogue.  The people I meet and the other artists I work with are so inspiring.

You can find out more about Will Deutsch on his artist page, where you can also commission him for a custom ketubah, or buy his Ahava (Love) ketubah.

Your ketubah signing, not the ceremony, is what precedes your first married moments.

I was in a Judaica store the other day, visiting my ex Jewish studies teacher who works at the counter. A couple came in looking for a ketubah. After a cursory glance through the pile of ketubot in a corner of the store, they brought one up to the register. My teacher tried to explain to them what they were buying– the text, who the artist was. The couple listened impatiently, until the groom-to-be finally said, “Listen, our rabbi said we needed either an Orthodox or a Conservative text. We’re just trying to cross this off the list.”

I happened to be nearby, so I asked them if they planned to hang up the ketubah. “Well, yeah,” said the groom. Then he turned to his bride and said, “So is this the one you want?” She shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

The challenge for those of us in the ketubah business can be summed up in the above interaction. We want to help you, the couples, to recognize the importance of your ketubah at the time that you’re buying it– that is, before your wedding ceremony. After the ceremony, no explanation will be necessary. You will have witnessed the significant role it played in your wedding–the signing of the witnesses, your dearest friends, in the intimate moments before your marriage. You will have felt this electrifying truth– that with or without the ceremony that follows, as soon as you sign the ketubah, YOU. ARE. MARRIED. Suddenly, this piece of paper will take on paramount importance– it will symbolize the newest moments of your married life, the small room where those closest to you joined in the joy of your union. (And this is just the emotional significance, to say nothing con the actual words in the contract– the husband’s promises to his wife, or the husband and wife’s promises to one another, as a married couple.)

This document, with significance on a symbolic, sentimental, spiritual and legal level will also serve an aesthetic function– it will likely hang in your bedroom or living room for a long, long time. I’ll present you with two examples from my own inner circle. My father, who remarried before I got into this business, often comments how he loves his ketubah for what it represents, but not so much for how it looks. It was, for him and his wife before their marriage, “just another thing to cross off the list.” They have hung their ketubah in the hallway leading to their bedroom. They want to remember and feel that connection to their wedding day, and to their commitment to one another– they just don’t want to look at the thing all the time.

Contrast that with my dearest friends Jordan and Lindsey. You’ve seen this bride before. She’s become our poster bride, because of the way that this couple really connected to their ketubah. Let me take you through the moments after their ketubah signing, pictorially. There was not a dry eye in the house. Even the groom was struggling not to lose it (sorry, dude).

(photos by Robby Campbell)

Lindsey told me just what she wanted in her ketubah and I executed it, with a few surprises. They have hung the ketubah opposite their bed, where it is the first thing they see in the morning, and the last thing they see before they go to sleep (aside from one another, of course). Jordan said, “Bride and groom become husband and wife once the ketubah is signed, and on our wedding day, the significance of the signing was palpable due in large part to the beauty of our ketubah. It is a moment we will never forget, one of the happiest of our lives. We look at our ketubah, and it reminds us of our perfect day.”

After the flowers wilt, the delicacies are eaten, the white dress is in plastic, the ketubah will be there: it will hang in your bedroom as long as you’re married. Your photos and your wedding video may grace your shelf until someone– probably your children, and probably only a few times, max– will want to look at them but, again, your ketubah will be there, on your wall, out in the open, a constant reminder.

Still think the ketubah is just another thing to cross off the list?